manicpixiedeathbitch: Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the stone Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the chamber Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the dementors Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the triwizard tournament Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the returning Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the creepy...
genies: i wish i was cute so that i could take selfies and not want to kill myself
pizza: *uses snapchat text bar to cover double chin*
nautilid: sarapunzel: real women have curve just one curve real women are circle
a haiku about most of my pencils
jaclcfrost: a second ago had you a second ago what the fucking shit
i am ugly and i have a bad personality what a winning combination
lusture: lusture: omg I’m at work and a group of like 13 year old girls come in and order their lattes or whatever and one girl is like can you Instagram this with all our names on it? and her friend is like ya totally and so I may have put a q in the middle of all of their names so they got their coffee and were like “omg what the hell we can’t take a picture of this” Im literally the worst...
sacaswagea: immergerd: sacaswagea: “if ur ready CUM and get it” haha only 18+ will get this one. :PPP I’m younger than eighteen and I get the joke. Btw, you’re really only supposed to use numbers instead of spelling out the word after one hundred. Or, to be grammatically correct, 100. You’re eighteen, you should know this. is this real life
iwishihadafather: one time i threw up in an old navy and my mom wiped it up with one of their shirts and we just walked out and thats when i knew that i was born with the blood of royalty in my veins
doctorh00ligan: k-lionheart: cryptaniac: bananneli: I wish that there was a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m having a bad mental health day and need you to pay attention to me,” without alienating everyone. or: “I’m having a bad mental health day and need to be on my own for a while so please don’t be mad if I cancel our plans on short notice.” Tangerines. the code word is...
dorfs: Woops my 10 minute study break turned into a whole year
oomshi: are you from chicago bc chicago away from me
jesussbabymomma: DOES ANYONE ELSE MAKE SCENARIOS IN THEIR HEAD OF THEM DATING SOMEONE AND HAVING THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP AND DOING CUTE COUPLE THINGS WITH THAT PERSON BECAUSE ME 24/7
southeasternprep: zillatamer: letterstogodptiii: tea-books-and-blankets: yaygocats: discomplete: “i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography “I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel. “I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy “I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a...
satans-fabulous-blog: morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
andrewhussiesbosom: amporacronus: andrewhussiesbosom: WAIT OKAY IS IT “EEEiTHER” OR “IIIIIIeITHER” could be either one
surejohn221b: iusedtobethefire: katnisstiel: yesbecausereasons: real—not—real: real—not—real: assckles: assckles: I want to take a dollar bill and write “are you Misha Collins” on it and maybe one day it’ll end up in his hands and he’d be the one mind fucked for once the journey has begun… DOING THIS ON EVERY DOLLAR I COME ACROSS Like I said fandom will take over...
zeloismybaby: kindred-spiritss: hamfarto: dildos-and-debutantes: rescuerhera: thejoshinator: mpregbert: ghostgiggles: if you play an instrument youre automatically 10x hotter im sorry thats just how the world works how the fuck do you play the mayonnaise ask Patrick Star
spankin-n-yankin: avatargrimes: jaclcfrost: chiptunehero: jaclcfrost: no one ever talks about peter pan’s brother peter pot peter pot the only boy who was higher than peter pan and this is probably why no one talks about him peter pot is so high, he neverlands. Leave.
tinkervrisk: physical education more like pointless embarrassment
multipack: mom can i borrow $100,000 please i’ll give u it back when im rich and famous
pizza: when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that i can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s better and involves me
msjewbooty: im gonna wear like 6 pairs of pants so people will begin to know me for wearing a ton of pants and when i get fat i will slowly remove the layers of pants and they won’t realize im fat they’ll just think i still wear 6 pairs of pants
bitchin-blaziken: my hobbies include deleting your shit comments
rneerkat: i was going to do a diet but i think ill weight
gamsee: my whole life is just “oh ok”
big-booty-itches: when your parents ask you to help them with technology
chihayahearts: jaclcfrost: if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners